Exactly one year ago on Sunday, December 9th, 2018, at 9:31 AM my wife, son, and daughters friend lost their lives in a car accident. A drunk driver was speeding 150 kph (93 mph), well over the speed limit, with no driver’s license, and no apparent concern for other drivers on the road. I would like to provide a little description about my wife, Britta, and my son, Villads: Britta Krarup Møller, was a better mother and wife than we could have wished for. She was always positive and in a good mood. She was doing a thousand things at the same time, but always put our family before everything else. There was no lack of love, support, or anything else. Britta was always ready if there was something missing or needed, our children were her whole life. As a wife, Britta was loving, loveable, and very supportive giving me the space I needed. She loved me for the person I am for which I will be eternally grateful. I was lucky to have 11 years with this amazing woman. I am so incredibly grateful for everything we created together in our life together, our children, our families, and our friends. Nothing will ever be able to take those things away. Sometime, in the future, I will sit down and think back on all our countless good memories together, smile, and feel warm inside. Villads Møller, our truly amazing son and brother, was always happy, positive, seeking new knowledge, forgetful, and honest. He pursued all the knowledge he could like the solar system, where do people come from, is there a god, and how our bodies work for example. Villads loved football more than any other sport. He loved to snuggle together with popcorn and good, old, Danish movies like Olsen Banden. He loved his sister, Sofia, and was very indulgent towards her, often taking to her defense even when there was no reason to. For his last birthday, Villads asked to be taken to the store, 15 minutes away, because one of the girls invited from class mentioned she like guacamole. He was always thinking of others and the best son a father could ever wish for, perfectly perfect. There is not much else that can describe him. I hope that people will read this and think twice before they drink and drive, because the impacts on others are bigger that anyone can really imagine. For me, the impacts are difficult to describe. This single action has impacted our daughter, family, friends, daughters’ friends, son’s friends, schools, people from our work, and even people we do not know. Here is my story about the accident, the following days/months, and now. On December 9th, 2018, Edijs Bukelis decided to drive his car even though he had been drinking all night and only slept for a couple of hours, this has been documented by the court. Britta, Sophia, Villads, and my daughters’ friend were on their way to Villads football (soccer) match. A couple of kilometers from the match location, my wife had stopped to make a left turn. She never had a chance to make the turn, the drunk driver smashed into the back of her car at approximately 150 kph (93 mph). The collision was so serious that my wife broke her neck instantly, my son hit his head and was stuck and unable to breathe. My daughter had a huge fracture on the right side of her head (21 stiches to close), she broke her wrist, broke her arm, broke her collarbone, and a couple of her ribs. My daughter also had a punctured lung, blood clot in her liver, and other injuries which were less severe. Sophia was extremely luck to survive. Her friend, the fourth person, died right away from her injuries. The paramedic revived my son after he had been dead, not breathing, for 14 minutes. Then, in the helicopter on the way to the hospital, he died again and was revived again. I was on my way home from Poland with two of my friends and as we crossed the border into Denmark, one of my friends read about the accident and I knew instantly that it was my family. I tried to call my wife, her parents, and then my parents. My mother finally picked up the phone. I asked what was happening and she told me that my wife and daughters’ friend had died, my son was in critical condition and my daughter was injured, but ok. I arrived at the hospital at 6:30 PM and saw my daughter first, she was awake. I talked to the doctors and they told me that I should focus on my daughter, as my son was being operated on. I stayed with my daughter until 2:30 AM and then went down to the other hospital to see my son. I talked to the surgeon who had operated on my son. They told me that his brain had suffered severe damage, but there was a small chance that he would survive, but I knew right away that he wouldn’t. After seeing my son, I went back to my daughter and had to tell her that her mother and older brother had passed away. I asked her if she knew what I meant, she did. I did not sleep at all that night. The day after, around 10:00 AM, December 10th, 2018, I went back to the hospital, where my son was, to talk to the doctors. They told me that they would not be able to save his life because he was brain dead and the only thing that was keeping him alive was the ventilator. They asked me if I would donate his organ’s and told me that I had until 3:00 PM the same day to decide. I went back to my daughter’s hospital, talked with my parents, sister and wife’s parents about what to do. We all drove down to my sons’ hospital where I decided that I would donate his organs. I signed the organ donation papers and his ventilator was turned off around 4:00 PM. That is the hardest decision I have ever had to make and one I will have to live with for the rest of my life. I decided that my son should no longer live. I then went back to my daughter, she had an operation that same evening at 8:00 PM. They told me the operation would take about 1 ½ hours so when it was 10:30 PM and I still had not heard from the nurse or doctors I got extremely nervous. Around 11:00 PM they told me that I needed to go down to the operating room and that it had been a larger operation than they had expected. Around midnight we were back in the intensive care unit and waited for my daughter to wake up when my mother suddenly had a stroke. At 3:31 AM, December 11th, 2018, the doctors called me to tell me my son was dead. For almost four months, I woke up at exactly 3:31 AM every single night. On December 11th my daughter was transferred to Herning Hospital, where my wife, Britta, and son, Villads, were as well. So, now we were all in the same place. That day, I saw my son and wife together for the first time in the chapel. I will never forget that day and the feeling, I still have the pictures of them side by side. I would visit them once or twice each day for the next two days saying goodbye and telling them how much I loved them and what they meant to me. I told them that I will never forget them, and that they will live in my heart until I pass away. My daughter and I still say goodnight to them each night and tell them both that they will always be in our hearts. My father-in-law, his brother, my brother-in-law and I had gone home on December 12th to look at our house. Everything was waiting on them to return home. Britta had arranged everything so they could have baked Christmas cookies after the soccer match, breakfast was still on the table, clothes where drying, meat was thawing in the refrigerator so she could make me a nice dinner after being away. It was extremely hard seeing it all just waiting for them to return to and it was even worse putting it way. These were the last things Britta and Villads had touched before they died. It is strange how small things suddenly matter. Things I never would have thought of before. We went back home on December 14th, 2018 and thankfully my parent-in-laws were able go with us, as I could not stand the idea of being alone. From December 12th to December 22nd I don’t remember much, to be honest. Our neighbor took care of our dog while we were at the hospital and we got her back the day we came home. Even our dog is grieving, she is still not herself, she is not a happy dog anymore. All of our community, people on our street, brought us dinner every single night for six months. A huge thanks to all of them. Britta’s birthday, December 19th, was an extremely hard day to get through. She loved to be around our families and we usually had a lot of people visiting us on her birthday. On December 22nd 2018 we had the funeral. My son, Villads, and wife, Britta, were laid to rest in the same coffin, so they can be together. It was a beautiful ceremony at the church with between 500-600 people attending. My wife’s choir sang a couple of songs and my sons and one of my wife’s favorite songs, “For Evigt” (“Forever”) by Volbeat, was played. I have never really listened to the lyrics to that song, but I do now, and it makes sense to me. We spent Christmas evening with my sister and her family, my sister has been of great support throughout the whole ordeal. She came down to the hospital when my parent-in-laws could not be there. It was a strange evening as both my wife and son loved Christmas, but we got through it together and with the help of my sister and her family. On December 26th my best friend, Jacob Ditlevsen, invited us to Christmas dinner at his sister’s house with his whole family. That was the first time since the accident I was able to relax a bit and I want to extend a huge thanks to Jacob and his family. New Years eve, my good, old friend, Jesper Byrialsen, invited us to join him and his family for dinner with some of their friends. Again, I was able to relax a bit. A huge thanks to both families for helping us out. Thanks to Jesper and Kristina for always being there. A huge thanks to Anna for being there and helping us trough the hardest 6-8 month of our lives. The first week in January, my daughter, Sofia, started school again. She needed some normality in her life again after a month with only sorrow and sadness in her life. At the end of January, I started up at work slowly, only a couple of hours a day but I honestly cannot remember how many hours a day. My memory is not what it used to be. I have always had a good memory, but now I need to write everything down. I do not have a clear memory of either my son or wife. I have tried going through pictures of them, to get the memory back, but I cannot do that as I then am sad for the next week or two. I hope, one day, I will be able to remember how my son laughed, how he smelled, how he joked, remember all the small things. It is hard to suddenly be alone with my daughter, house, dog, school, and work. It is difficult to handle it all. I need to thank my workplace for being as understanding as they have been. I leave work early every day to pick up my daughter after school. I work in the late afternoon and evenings to catch up but would never have been able to handle it all if my work had not been as understanding as they are. A huge thank you to VELUX. Both my daughter and I miss them both every single day. The first thing I think of when I get up in the morning is my son and he is the last thing I think of before I go to bed. I will miss the both of them for the rest of my life and I am sure that my daughter will as well. Today will mark one year since the accident and I need to look ahead. I need to allow myself to be happy again and I hope that at some point I can look back at our lives before the accident and remember all the good things. I hope my daughter will have a good life, even though the start of it could have been a lot better. Till now she has not been dealt the best cards in life and I need to ensure that she will have that in the future. I hope that people will read my story and think before they drink and drive, as the impact is greater than we can ever imagine.

For præcist et år siden søndag den 9. december 2018, klokken 09.31, mistede min kone, søn og døtre ven deres liv i en bilulykke. En beruset fører kørte hastighed på 150 km / t (93 mph), godt over hastighedsgrænsen, uden kørekort og ingen åbenbar bekymring for andre bilister på vejen. Jeg vil gerne give en lille beskrivelse af min kone, Britta, og min søn, Villads: Britta Krarup Møller, var en bedre mor og kone, end vi kunne have ønsket os. Hun var altid positiv og i godt humør. Hun gjorde tusind ting på samme tid, men lagde altid vores familie foran alt andet. Der var ingen mangel på kærlighed, støtte eller noget andet. Britta var altid klar, hvis der manglede noget eller var nødvendigt, vores børn var hendes liv. Som kone var Britta kærlig, elskelig og meget støttende og gav mig den plads, jeg havde brug for. Hun elskede mig for den person, jeg er, som jeg vil være evig taknemmelig for. Jeg var heldig at have 11 år med denne fantastiske kvinde. Jeg er så utrolig taknemmelig for alt, hvad vi skabte sammen i vores liv sammen, vores børn, vores familier og vores venner. Intet vil nogensinde kunne fjerne disse ting. Engang i fremtiden vil jeg sætte mig ned og tænke tilbage på alle vores utallige gode minder sammen, smile og føle mig varm indeni.Villads Møller, vores virkelig fantastiske søn og bror, var altid glad, positiv og søgte ny viden, glemsom og ærlig. Han forfulgte al den viden, han kunne lide solsystemet, hvor kommer folk fra, er der en gud, og hvordan vores kroppe fungerer for eksempel. Villads elskede fodbold mere end nogen anden sport. Han elskede at kæbe sammen med popcorn og gode, gamle, danske film som Olsen Banden. Han elskede sin søster, Sofia, og var meget overgivende over for hende og tog ofte til sit forsvar, selv når der ikke var nogen grund til det. Til sin sidste fødselsdag bad Villads om at blive ført til butikken, 15 minutter væk, fordi en af ​​de piger, der blev inviteret fra klassen, nævnte, at hun kunne lide guacamole. Han tænkte altid på andre og den bedste søn, som en far nogensinde kunne ønske sig, perfekt perfekt. Der er ikke meget andet, der kan beskrive ham. Jeg håber, at folk læser dette og tænker to gange, før de drikker og kører, fordi indvirkningen på andre er større, som enhver virkelig kan forestille sig. For mig er virkningerne vanskelige at beskrive. Denne enkelt handling har påvirket vores datter, familie, venner, døtrers venner, sønns venner, skoler, folk fra vores arbejde og endda mennesker, vi ikke kender. Her er min historie om ulykken de følgende dage / måneder og nu.Den 9. december 2018 besluttede Edijs Bukelis at køre sin bil, selvom han havde drukket hele natten og kun sov et par timer, dette er blevet dokumenteret af retten. Britta, Sophia, Villads og mine døtres ven var på vej til Villads fodboldkamp. Et par kilometer fra kampens placering var min kone stoppet for at dreje til venstre. Hun havde aldrig en chance for at dreje, den berusede chauffør smadrede bagpå hendes bil med cirka 150 km / t. Kollisionen var så alvorlig, at min kone øjeblikkeligt knækkede halsen, min søn ramte hans hoved og sad fast og var ikke i stand til at trække vejret. Min datter havde et enormt brud på højre side af hovedet (21 stænger til at lukke), hun brækkede håndleddet, knækkede armen, knækkede knoglen og et par af sine ribben. Min datter havde også en punkteret lunge, blodpropp i hendes lever og andre kvæstelser, der var mindre alvorlige. Sophia var ekstremt heldig for at overleve. Hendes ven, den fjerde person, døde lige væk fra hendes skader. Den paramedicinske genoplivet min søn, efter at han var død og ikke vejrtrækning i 14 minutter. Derefter døde han i helikopteren på vej til hospitalet igen og blev genoplivet igen. Jeg var på vej hjem fra Polen med to af mine venner, og da vi krydsede grænsen til Danmark, læste en af ​​mine venner om ulykken, og jeg vidste øjeblikkeligt, at det var min familie. Jeg prøvede at ringe til min kone, hendes forældre og derefter mine forældre.Min mor tog endelig telefonen. Jeg spurgte, hvad der skete, og hun fortalte mig, at min kone og døtrers ven var død, min søn var i kritisk tilstand og min datter blev såret, men ok. Jeg ankom til hospitalet kl. 18:30 og så min datter først, hun var vågen. Jeg talte med lægerne, og de fortalte mig, at jeg skulle fokusere på min datter, da min søn blev opereret. Jeg blev hos min datter indtil 02:30 og gik derefter ned til det andet hospital for at se min søn. Jeg talte med kirurgen, der havde opereret min søn. De fortalte mig, at hans hjerne havde lidt alvorlig skade, men der var en lille chance for, at han ville overleve, men jeg vidste med det samme, at han ikke ville gøre det. Efter at have set min søn gik jeg tilbage til min datter og måtte fortælle hende, at hendes mor og ældre bror var død. Jeg spurgte hende, om hun vidste, hvad jeg mente, hun gjorde. Jeg sov ikke overhovedet den nat. Dagen efter, kl. 10:00, den 10. december 2018, gik jeg tilbage til hospitalet, hvor min søn var, for at tale med lægerne. De fortalte mig, at de ikke ville være i stand til at redde hans liv, fordi han var hjernedød, og det eneste, der holdt ham i live, var respiratoren. De spurgte mig, om jeg ville donere hans orgel og fortalte mig, at jeg havde indtil 15:00 samme dag til at bestemme. Jeg gik tilbage til min datters hospital og talte med mine forældre, søster og hustrus forældre om, hvad jeg skulle gøre.Vi kørte alle ned til mine sønner hospital, hvor jeg besluttede, at jeg ville donere hans organer. Jeg underskrev organdonationspapirerne, og hans ventilator blev slukket omkring 16:00. Det er den sværeste beslutning, jeg nogensinde har haft at tage, og en jeg bliver nødt til at leve med resten af ​​mit liv. Jeg besluttede, at min søn ikke længere skulle bo. Jeg gik derefter tilbage til min datter, hun havde en operation samme aften kl. 20.00. De fortalte mig, at operationen ville tage ca. 1 ½ time, så da klokka var 10.30, og jeg stadig ikke havde hørt fra sygeplejersken eller lægerne, blev jeg ekstremt nervøs. Omkring 23:00 fortalte de mig, at jeg var nødt til at gå ned til operationsstuen, og at det havde været en større operation, end de havde forventet. Omkring midnat var vi tilbage på intensivafdelingen og ventede på, at min datter vågnede op, da min mor pludselig fik et slagtilfælde. Kl. 03.31, 11. december 2018, ringede lægerne til mig for at fortælle mig, at min søn var død. I næsten fire måneder vågnede jeg op nøjagtigt klokken 03.31 hver eneste nat. Den 11. december blev min datter overført til Herning Hospital, hvor også min kone, Britta, og søn, Villads, var. Så nu var vi alle på samme sted. Den dag så jeg min søn og kone sammen for første gang i kapellet. Jeg vil aldrig glemme den dag og følelsen, jeg har stadig billederne af dem side om side.Jeg ville besøge dem en eller to gange hver dag i de næste to dage for at sige farvel og fortælle dem, hvor meget jeg elskede dem, og hvad de betydede for mig. Jeg fortalte dem, at jeg aldrig vil glemme dem, og at de vil leve i mit hjerte, indtil jeg går bort. Min datter og jeg siger stadig godnat hver aften og fortæller dem begge, at de altid vil være i vores hjerter. Min svigerfar, hans bror, min svoger og jeg var rejst hjem den 12. december for at se på vores hus. Alt ventede på dem at vende hjem. Britta havde arrangeret alt, så de kunne have bagt julekager efter fodboldkampen, morgenmaden var stadig på bordet, tøj, hvor tørring, kød blev optøet i køleskabet, så hun kunne gøre mig til en dejlig middag efter at have været væk. Det var ekstremt svært at se det hele bare vente på, at de skulle vende tilbage til, og det var endnu værre at sætte det op. Dette var de sidste ting Britta og Villads havde rørt før de døde. Det er underligt, hvor små ting pludselig betyder noget. Ting, jeg aldrig ville have tænkt på før. Vi gik hjem den 14. december 2018 og heldigvis kunne min svigerforældre gå med os, da jeg ikke kunne tåle ideen om at være alene. Fra 12. december til 22. december kan jeg ikke huske meget, for at være ærlig. Vores nabo tog sig af vores hund, mens vi var på hospitalet, og vi fik hende tilbage den dag, vi kom hjem. Selv vores hund sørger, hun er stadig ikke sig selv, hun er ikke en glad hund mere.Hele vores samfund, folk på vores gade, bragte os middag hver eneste nat i seks måneder. En stor tak til dem alle. Britta fødselsdag den 19. december var en ekstremt hård dag at komme igennem. Hun elskede at være omkring vores familier, og vi havde normalt mange mennesker på besøg på hendes fødselsdag. Den 22. december 2018 havde vi begravelsen. Min søn Villads og kone, Britta, blev lagt i hvile i den samme kiste, så de kan være sammen. Det var en smuk ceremoni i kirken med mellem 500-600 deltagere. Min kones kor sang et par sange, og mine sønner og en af ​​min kones yndlingssange, "For Evigt" ("For evigt") af Volbeat, blev spillet. Jeg har aldrig rigtig lyttet til teksterne til den sang, men det gør jeg nu, og det giver mening for mig. Vi tilbragte juleaften med min søster og hendes familie, min søster har været til stor støtte gennem hele prøvelsen. Hun kom ned på hospitalet, da min svigerforældre ikke kunne være der. Det var en mærkelig aften, da både min kone og søn elskede jul, men vi kom igennem det sammen og med hjælp fra min søster og hendes familie. Den 26. december inviterede min bedste ven, Jacob Ditlevsen, os til julemiddag i sin søsters hus med hele hans familie. Det var første gang siden ulykken, jeg var i stand til at slappe af lidt, og jeg vil gerne udtrykke en enorm tak til Jacob og hans familie.Nytårsaften inviterede min gode, gamle ven, Jesper Byrialsen os til at slutte sig til ham og hans familie til middag med nogle af deres venner. Igen var jeg i stand til at slappe af lidt. En stor tak til begge familier for at hjælpe os. Tak til Jesper og Kristina for altid at være der. En enorm tak til Anna for at være der og hjælpe os med at trough de hårdeste 6-8 måneder af vores liv. Den første uge i januar startede min datter Sofia igen skole. Hun havde brug for en vis normalitet i sit liv igen efter en måned med kun sorg og tristhed i sit liv. I slutningen af ​​januar begyndte jeg langsomt på arbejdet, kun et par timer om dagen, men jeg kan ærligt ikke huske, hvor mange timer om dagen. Min hukommelse er ikke, hvad den plejede at være. Jeg har altid haft en god hukommelse, men nu skal jeg nedskrive alt. Jeg har hverken min søn eller kone en klar hukommelse. Jeg har forsøgt at gennemgå billeder af dem for at få hukommelsen tilbage, men jeg kan ikke gøre det, da jeg er ked af det i den næste uge eller to. Jeg håber, at jeg en dag kan huske, hvordan min søn lo, hvordan han lugtede, hvordan han spøgede, husk alle de små ting. Det er svært at pludselig være alene med min datter, hus, hund, skole og arbejde. Det er svært at håndtere det hele. Jeg er nødt til at takke min arbejdsplads for at være så forståelig som de har været. Jeg forlader arbejde tidligt hver dag for at hente min datter efter skole.Jeg arbejder sent på eftermiddagen og om aftenen for at indhente men ville aldrig have været i stand til at håndtere det hele, hvis mit arbejde ikke havde været så forståeligt som de er. En stor tak til VELUX. Både min datter og jeg savner dem begge hver eneste dag. Den første ting, jeg tænker på, når jeg står op om morgenen, er min søn, og han er den sidste ting, jeg tænker på, inden jeg går i seng. Jeg vil savne dem begge resten af ​​mit liv, og jeg er sikker på, at også min datter vil gøre det. I dag er der et år siden ulykken, og jeg er nødt til at se fremad. Jeg er nødt til at tillade mig at være glad igen, og jeg håber, at jeg på et tidspunkt kan se tilbage på vores liv inden ulykken og huske alle de gode ting. Jeg håber, min datter får et godt liv, selvom starten på det kunne have været meget bedre. Indtil nu har hun ikke fået de bedste kort i livet, og jeg er nødt til at sikre, at hun får det i fremtiden. Jeg håber, at folk læser min historie og tænker, inden de drikker og kører, da virkningen er større, end vi nogensinde kan forestille os.